marriage

For couples with kids, it's not always that black and white.

But is staying for the children gifting them a nuclear family or a sacrifice that does more harm than good?

Relationships Australia counsellor Fiona Bennett says couples with children often try harder to save their relationship than those without.

"They can feel it's in the best interest for the children in terms of security, stability and good time with both parents," Ms Bennett says.

There was no god, no government, no commitment ceremony. There was no seating plan, no name-changing, no gifts.

There was no dieting, no Spanx, no Botox, no fake tan, no bucks night, no bridesmaids — none of the hallmarks of a typical wedding.

Instead, I was a 47-year-old, 90-kilo bride in a magenta-coloured dress the groom chose and purchased online for $260.

For years and years I was in denial. I denied the obvious dysfunction in my marriage, and how terribly unhappy I was in it.

I told myself over and over that things would change and get better, that it wouldn’t be this way forever, and that I could find a way to be happy with how things were.

I had long given up hope that my spouse would change, but I have to admit, I joyfully splashed around in deep denial, telling myself that I could change.

In my mind, if I could change my feelings about my marriage, I would miraculously be at peace, and things would get better.