It is ironic that employers take such care in making new hires, because they are taking a very small risk when they invite someone to join their team.
An employer can terminate an employee for any reason or no reason at all, so if you should make a bad hire you can correct the problem quickly without much trouble.
You take a much bigger risk when you join a new employer. The wrong job can destroy your mojo and your self-esteem. It can play tricks on your emotional state and get you to doubt yourself. You can even become ill because of the stress of working in the wrong place, but once you are in a bad job it can be hard to find the time, energy and focus to start a new job search.
The vast majority of the people I’ve met in the business world have been wonderful people, but nearly every organization has at least a few sneaky backstabbers in it, too. The reason backstabbers keep their jobs and even rise in the company is because they show different sides of themselves to different people.
Most of us have been bushwhacked at least once by somebody at work who pretended to be our friend, but then turned into an enemy when it mattered. Backstabbing people use guile to get on your good side and the minute you let your guard down, Wham! they strike.
Here are ten sneaky tricks that backstabbers use to get ahead at the expense of more upright and honest people, like you. Watch out for these tactics and don’t be too quick to trust someone at work, or you may regret it later.
They share a piece of ‘confidential’ information with you to get you to reciprocate.
The oldest trick in the backstabber’s book is to reveal a piece of executive-suite gossip to you in order to stimulate the natural human urge to reciprocate. Who knows if their gossip is real? They could easily have made it up. The backstabber is only sharing their juicy gossip with you to get you to fork over something you heard. Don’t do it!
Backstabbers are two-faced. They’ll tell the boss that they are a loyal and devoted employee but they’ll say “But some of the employees are disgruntled.” Don’t outsource your relationship with your own boss, even if you are intimidated about talking with him or her. Be especially careful of letting any other employee (like your backstabbing co-worker) carry your messages!
Don’t assume your boss understands what you’re working on or understands your ideas. Maintain your own relationship with the person you report to.
They offer to “help” you with a project that will raise their visibility with the executives, but then they steal your project.
A time-honored backstabber’s trick is to offer to help you with a project, then learn just enough about the project to be able to claim it as his or her own.
They put words in your mouth and then tell your boss that you said something the boss won’t like.
Backstabbers need to have an advantage over everybody. If you go to lunch with a two-faced co-worker, it won’t take long for some off-handed remark you made at lunch to make its way back to the boss and typically in a way that doesn’t do you any favors. Keep your opinions to yourself. Backstabbers are people in fear, and they won’t hesitate to mangle your words to make you look bad if it will make them look good.
They offer to ‘train’ you on your job, then report back to the boss on your tiniest stumbles and slip-ups.
If your boss assigns you a mentor or coach on the job, take the help you are offered but don’t fall into a confidence-sharing relationship with your coach or mentor. That person may be a backstabbing phony who will be quick to tell the boss how badly you need his or her help and how only he or she stands between you and disaster on the job!
They take credit for everything you and everyone else in your department does.
Backstabbers take credit for everything good and place blame when anything unfortunate happens. Keep your own records of your triumphs on the job and when you meet with your boss for a one-on-one meeting, keep him or her in the loop. If you don’t currently have one-on-one meetings with your boss at least once a month, suggest to your manager that you start doing that.
They claim close relationships with high-level managers and offer to advocate for your ideas, but that’s just a ploy.
Backstabbers will tell you “That’s a great idea! I am very good friends with the VP of Product Management. I’ll take your idea to him! I just need to know a few more details.” Don’t fall for that ploy. Say this instead: “I really appreciate that. I’d like to go over my plan with our supervisor first and then if she wants to take it upstairs, that will be great.” Your backstabbing co-worker is not your agent. Don’t let him or her think they are!
They let you and other people take the fall when things go badly.
The surest sign of an untrustworthy co-worker is that they are quick to place blame whenever something goes wrong. In a healthy organization, people don’t get in trouble when mistakes happen. They learn and they grow.
They tell other people that you said things you never said.
If you hear quotes attributed to you in the rumor mill and you never said those things, speak up. Tell your co-workers “I don’t know where you heard that, but I never said that and that’s not how I feel.”
They lie to your face.
You will know that your backstabbing workmate has gone completely over the edge into his or her own fear-fueled reality when they lie to your face. When you tell lies all day long the way backstabbers do, it’s hard to remember which lie you told to which person!
You don’t need to react or get angry when you realize that a backstabber is using you for his or her ends. You don’t have any extra mojo to waste swatting away flies. Keep a smile on your face and keep your distance from the sleazy co-worker once you’ve pegged him or her as a backstabber, and remember this: not everybody deserves your friendship! Only the people who get you and who are honest with you deserve your time and attention.
Liz Ryan (Author) is the CEO and founder of Human Workplace.